


The Divides that Bind Us

by DreadPirateButtercup



Series: the divides that bind us [2]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Developing Relationship, F/F, F/M, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-21
Updated: 2016-01-29
Packaged: 2018-05-15 07:11:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5776366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DreadPirateButtercup/pseuds/DreadPirateButtercup
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When you have three different people from very different backgrounds, navigating a new relationship gets a little complicated. But Finn is amazing and everyone is willing to give it a try for his sake.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The sun glinted off waterfalls as the transport flew low over the surface, coming in for a landing. Finn watched out the window, terrified and excited to see the new place he’d be living for a while. True to Poe’s word, the resistance was moving to a new base. The First Order knew the location of the base on D’Qar, and they'd used up the grace time they'd bought with the destruction of Starkiller Base, so it was time to move. Finn wasn’t entirely sure he was welcome with the Resistance, now that the moment of crisis had passed. He was still limited in his mobility, though, and was happy to keep getting further away from the First Order by any means possible. Nearly everyone he knew was essential to get things running at the new base, however, and had gone on ahead a couple days before. He was only arriving now with the last dregs of wounded and non-essential personnel. As soon as he was fit for duty he desperately needed to get himself a job. In the meantime, at least he was almost there, and would see Poe again shortly.

The new base was located on the planet Desgund, on the rim-ward end of the Western Reaches. Finn hadn’t had much desire to read up on it. The planet itself held no interest for him, only the people there and how well defended it might be. From here, though, he had nothing more interesting to do than stare out the window. They were flying past large swaths of mostly flat surface, covered with either sand or snow. Finn couldn’t be sure which, but given the waterfalls pouring into the many deep crevices they passed, he would guess it was mostly snow on the verge of melting. He wondered if the waterfalls were a seasonal thing, and what the cliffs would look like once the snow was all gone. 

Unexpectedly the ship began to descend, going down into one of the canyons. They went down a surprisingly long way before the small transport cut through one of the curtains of falling water and entered a hidden hangar bay. Finn felt a little more secure in the knowledge that he wasn’t going to be living up there on the smooth, bare surface. A hidden base was a great idea as far as he was concerned. The ship settled down on the landing pad with hisses and thumps, and a little too much bouncing. Finn winced, wishing for a better pilot. Poe would have ensured a much smoother flight, he was sure. 

The rest of the passengers stood and began disembarking, the bed-ridden ones pushed on grav-stretchers and the rest on their feet. Finn felt like the odd one out, able to move, but with difficulty. He stubbornly waved away the 2-1B unit that attempted to help him up, and waited for most everyone to clear out before beginning the process of pulling himself out of his chair, via the handgrips and the back of the seat in front of him. He was panting and sweaty by the time he made it up, but this was only the second time he’d managed to stand up on his own since Kylo Ren had sliced his spine up. He smiled a little, through the exhaustion, proud of himself. Until he realized that now he had to make his way up the few rows of seats to where his crutches rested at the front of the cabin. He blew out a deep sigh and shifted his balance, regretting refusing that offer of help. This was going to hurt. 

Footsteps sounded on the ramp outside, and a moment later Poe’s head appeared in the entryway, looking around frantically. When he spotted Finn he relaxed and grinned. He jogged down the aisle and threw his arms around Finn, squeezing him roughly. 

“You made it. I was worried when you didn't get off with the others.” Poe said, without stepping back. He pressed his cheek against Finn's for a moment, holding him close. Finn smiled at the slight tickle of his breath and stubble against his neck.

“I was just taking my time. Didn't expect you to be waiting for me.” They'd never stood quite this close before, but Finn was quite sure that this feeling was the one people normally meant when they talked about “coming home”. He wrapped his own arms tightly around Poe, feeling his warmth through the thin fabric of his shirt. Poe leaned back a little, though, to look him in the eye. 

“I've been waiting for days,” Poe murmured. Finn felt his cheeks heat. He had hoped, silently, that Poe was missing him, too, but he hadn’t really believed it. He’d assumed that Poe would have been too busy with the Resistance and getting things moved and reorganized that he’d be too busy to think about him. But Poe’s gaze was earnest and longing even now, and a slow grin spread across Finn’s face in response.

“You really missed me!” Finn’s response was perhaps a little too overtly gleeful, but he couldn’t hold in his joy that someone else really cared about him. 

“Yes, I really did.” Poe’s response was much quieter, sounding almost strangled. The look he gave Finn was full of heat, and Finn was almost certain that Poe wanted to do more. Maybe even kiss him? He took a step back, though, and looked Finn up and down. Then he raised his eyebrows, and looked back up with wide eyes. “Your crutches are gone! Are you--”

“No,” Finn growled, annoyed at the reminder. He lifted his chin, indicating where the crutches leaned against the inner hull of the transport. “Still can’t manage much without them.”

“They left you here without a way to get off?” Poe’s voice was no longer quiet, and his grip on Finn tightened.

“I told them to go ahead. I wanted to -- thought I could . . . “ Finn trailed off, shrugging. “Apparently I couldn’t.”

Poe stared at him searchingly for another minute, though Finn couldn’t guess what he was looking for. Eventually he nodded slightly and his grip loosened. He brushed his hands up and down Finn’s sleeves apologetically. 

“Are you okay standing here for a moment while I grab them?”

“Yeah. I managed to get out of the chair by myself.” Finn added, pride leaking out of his voice. He felt silly saying it, but he couldn’t help but glow a little at taking that step, small as it might be. Poe didn’t show any censure, only smiling warmly in return. He didn’t say anything, just leaned forward and planted a quick kiss on his cheek. Finn’s face really did heat then, along with several other parts of his body. Poe turned quickly away and walked over to the crutches, not meeting Finn’s eyes until he returned. Even then, Finn thought his face looked a little redder than usual. 

“Here. I’ll show you where your new quarters are. Did you have any luggage?” Poe grimaced a little at Finn’s head shake, but didn’t seem surprised. Finn had been alternating between a couple of borrowed heavy duty coveralls during the last week, once he’d finally been allowed out of his hospital robes. His jacket, the one possession he actually accepted as his own, had presumably been destroyed in the fight with Kylo Ren, as he hadn’t seen it since he’d woken up. “We need to do something about that one of these days. But let’s get you settled first.”

Finn nodded, willing to go along with the idea. He wasn’t entirely sold on this ownership business, but Poe and Rey seemed to put great stock in it, and he was willing to give it a try for their sakes. The idea of having a variety of different clothing options sounded nice at least. He was ready to get far away from the uniformity expected of stormtroopers. 

The two men made their slow way out of the transport and across the chilly hangar bay. Poe pointed out the various different types of starfighters and freighters they passed, and waved at mechanics and pilots he recognized. It was fairly early in the morning local time, and most people were still moving slowly as they came on shift. Several waved back at Poe while smothering yawns, or saluted him with vaguely with cups of caf in their hands. In comparison, Poe looked surprisingly alert. Finn questioned him about that, but Poe just shrugged and brushed it off.

“I’ve been working odd shifts the last few nights. I’ve been up for a while now.” Poe slid his eyes away from Finn’s skeptical look. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “I haven’t been sleeping well. Figured if I wasn’t going to be sleeping anyway, I might as well take the midnight shift so somebody else can.”

Finn’s brow crinkled with worry, but he didn’t press. Not here. There would be time for that later, and a better place than the middle of a crowded hangar. At last they reached the end of the huge room and entered the slightly warmer corridor beyond. Almost immediately Poe brought them to a halt in front of a bank of turbolifts.

Finn leaned against the wall, while Poe pressed the call button and then came to join him while they waited. Their shoulders brushed and Finn leaned in a little. He couldn’t even begin to describe how right it felt to have him there, within reach. The last few days had been miserable without his friend. He looked over at Poe to see him smiling down at his shoes. Finn nudged him with his shoulder.

“What are you so happy about?”

Poe looked up and grinned, but didn’t answer. He just threw an arm around Finn’s shoulder and sighed contentedly, squeezing a little. Finn raised his eyebrows, mildly irritated by Poe’s reticence. He had been so sure, with Poe’s initial greeting, that they were on the same page and their little hugs and touches were about to graduate to something else. But Poe kept pulling hesitating, and he couldn't understand why. Finn was beginning to wonder if maybe he'd been misreading his body language this whole time. He shrugged and straightened back up as the turbolift door opened. 

Poe started to pull his arm back, but Finn impulsively tilted his head to trap it against his shoulder. When Poe froze, he looked back over at him, suddenly embarrassed. That had probably been out of line.

“You can leave that there. If you want. Or not. Um.” Finn lost his train of thought as the warm smile on Poe’s face widened, and the corners of his eyes crinkled. His brain was entirely occupied trying to memorize every detail of his face in this moment. Poe just squeezed his shoulders again and led the way into the lift.

“Come on. I think you’ll like your new place,” he said gently.

 

After another short walk, this time through twisting, bustling corridors hewn out of solid rock, Poe led him down a short hallway and stopped them in front of a door. He pointed at the keypad outside.

“You can set up the security controls here to your liking, set who can come in,” Poe pressed a button and the doors hissed open. “And this is it!”

Finn walked in and looked around. It was a little smaller than Poe’s room back on D’Qar, but only barely. It was barren and immaculate, reminding him momentarily of stormtrooper barracks. A desk, a chair and a bed, with a couple shelves carved out of one wall.

“Wait, there’s only one bed. This is just for me?” Finn’s eyes widened at the idea of having his own room.

“Yeah, there’s tons of space here. Somebody carved out these tunnels millennia ago, no idea who. We’ve just retrofitted them for our use. So there are plenty of rooms. Nobody has to share.” Poe looked a little concerned and rubbed the back of his neck.

Finn finally recovered his wits enough to come in and drop down onto the bed, leaning his crutches against the desk. He scooted back so he could rest his back against the wall and survey his new little kingdom in comfort. His grin lit up his face, and he bounced up and down a little on the bed in excitement. His back immediately protested, though, so he settled down. He patted the bed next to him, and lifted his eyebrows imperatively at Poe. Taking the hint, Poe settled himself down to sit comfortably next to him. He still looked concerned.

“Is it okay?”

“It’s perfect,” Finn sighed. “I can't wait to show Rey when she gets back!”

“I could go and let you get things situated the way you like. Or rest or something.” Poe rubbed the back of his neck, looking a little uncomfortable. Finn frowned and tilted his head curiously. He couldn’t tell if Poe was actually wanting to leave or not. He seemed awfully tense. But Finn really didn’t want to be left alone after just catching up with him again.

“Do you have work you need to do? Um. Someone you need to see?”

“No! Nothing like that!” Poe looked aghast. He put out a hand and grabbed Finn’s, clasping it in both of his. “I just didn’t want to encroach. If you . . . needed some space or something.” Finn’s expression softened. He tugged at Poe’s hands, pulling him closer until he could lean his head down on Poe’s shoulder.

“Space is the last thing I need from you,” Finn murmured.

Poe rested his chin on the top of Finn’s head, and they simply sat like that for several minutes, just feeling each other breathe. Finn felt like the stress and misery of the last few days was sloughing off of him in Poe’s presence. Everything seemed a little lighter, a little calmer. Poe hummed a little, a quiet melody that rumbled up through his chest. Finn sighed and closed his eyes.

 

Sometime later, he opened his eyes, yawning and blinking the sleep away. At some point he’d slipped down to lie in Poe’s lap, and Poe’s fingers were gently rubbing his temple. He was still enormously comfortable, but his stomach was also growling and he was suddenly very interested in finding out where the nearest cafeteria was. He snuggled against Poe’s stomach for a moment anyway, unable to resist extracting a last little bit of warmth and human contact. Poe’s stomach vibrated, and a chuckle escaped him. Finn turned and opened one eye, peering up at him.

“Whas so funny?” Finn grumbled sleepily.

Poe snickered louder and tapped him on the nose in response.

“You snore. It’s cute.” His grin was infectious, and Finn stuck his tongue out to keep from giving in and grinning right back. He felt ridiculously happy. His stomach rumbled again. He also felt ridiculously hungry.

“What time is it? I’m desperate for something to eat,” Finn said, levering himself reluctantly back up into a sitting position. Poe checked his wrist comm.

“It’s a little early for lunch here yet, but they should have something in the mess anyway. There’s plenty of people still out of sync with local time.” Poe stood up and turned to look at Finn, running a hand through his hair. “It isn’t far, but if you’re tired I can run and get something for both of us.”

Finn shook his head. He was tired, but Poe wouldn’t always be around. He needed to be able to find his own way there. Sleeping all day wouldn’t be any help in adjusting to the different time either. He scooted to the edge of the bed and grabbed the edge of the desk with one hand, trying to find leverage to get himself up. Poe reached forward, but Finn held out a hand to stop him.

“I’ve got to figure this out.”

Poe stepped back again, and put his hands behind his back. He watched Finn carefully, making him more nervous than necessary, but at least he refrained from making any sudden movements. This time was easier than back at the transport, despite the available supports not being quite as handy. He’d figured out which angles worked best, and it was just a matter of pushing and pulling just right to keep the full force of his weight off his legs. When he finally stood before Poe, only panting a little, he smiled sheepishly.

“Well that was embarrassing. Thanks for letting me do it myself, though. Doctor Kalonia says she’ll sign a release for light duty once I master getting up and down by myself.”

“So, you’re sticking around then?” Poe was still watching him cautious eyes, even though he was stable now. “I mean, with the Resistance?”

“Yeah, I think so. At least for now.” Finn shrugged, still a little terrified of that decision. He’d been unable to face the thought of leaving his friends, now that he had them. The Resistance also had a certain amount of firepower handy, which would help protect him from the First Order once they inevitably figured out where he was. “I’m still not convinced the Order can be beat, but after taking down Starkiller . . . well, you guys have a better shot than anybody else, I figure.” He hesitated for just a moment before adding, “And I want to spend more time with you.”

Poe’s grin was blinding, in the moment Finn glimpsed it before he was engulfed in a hug. He wasn’t sure what he’d said to inspire that, but he wasn’t about to protest. His stomach had other ideas, however, and rumbled loudly. 

“Right. Food.” Poe stepped back and patted Finn on the shoulder before turning to open the door. Finn grabbed his crutches from where he’d left them leaning against the desk, and followed him out. 

In the hall, Poe stopped and pointed at a door a few meters down. 

“That's my room, if you need anything.” He set off up the hall in the other direction. Finn stared at the door for a moment, marking it in his memory, then hurried to catch up. 

“Wait, why are your quarters in the medcenter?”

Poe paused, waiting for him to catch up, and rubbed the back of his neck. 

“Actually, your quarters are in the pilot's area. I . . . sort of suggested that you might want to not be stuck at the medcenter all the time. Especially since you're nearly recovered.” Poe looked hopeful, and a little uncertain.

Finn kept moving until he came up alongside Poe, then stopped and looked at him for a moment, head tilted in consideration. Poe shifted his feet, beginning to look distinctly nervous. Finn grinned and shook his head, then leaned in a little.

“You’re cute when you’re nervous.” Finn turned and kept walking. The grin took over his face completely when he heard Poe call out from behind him.

“Only when I’m nervous?!”

 

The mess hall was largely deserted when they got there, but there were a few people scattered around, either sitting alone or in small groups. After collecting their meals, Poe led Finn over to a table where several people in flight suits sat chatting. He set their meals down in front of a couple of empty chairs, then supported Finn as he sat down. Finn still felt awkward needing so much assistance. He was going to get off these crutches as soon as humanly possible. In the meantime he was embarrassingly touched to have Poe being so thoughtful. It meant he didn’t have to actually ask for help too often, which saved a bit of his pride.

Once seated comfortably he waved at the gathered pilots. He’d met Jess before, but the other two he couldn’t place. Thankfully, Poe took a seat and came to his rescue once again.

“Hey guys. This is Finn. Finn, you’ve already met Jess. These other two miscreants are Karé and Iolo.” He gestured at the human woman and keshian man seated to his right. Karé leaned forward on the table, a mischievous grin on her face.

“So you’re Poe’s mysterious hot shot. We were beginning to think he’d made you up!”

“Ooh, you’ve been telling stories about me?” Finn nudged Poe with his shoulder. “Did you make me sound good?”

“I was, eh . . . complimentary.”

“You were glowing.” Iolo countered.

“I was kinda glowing,” Poe admitted, grinning sheepishly at Finn. 

“He told us you took to the TIE cannons like you were born in the gunner’s seat. And there are some rumors floating around that you took out some TIEs from the Millennium Falcon, too.” Karé raised her eyebrows. “Any of it true?”

“I got the job done,” Finn shrugged, noncommittally. He was still trying to feel out the conversational tones the pilots used. Growing up, the stormtroopers had been encouraged towards competitiveness and bragging. Looking back, it was probably part of some regimen to increase their aggression, but it was so ingrained in him it felt natural. The medical staff he’d interacted with had a much more constrained, polite way of speaking with each other, which had taken a lot of getting used to. The pilots he’d interacted with so far seemed more open and exuberant, even cocky, but he wasn’t sure enough of his footing to really be himself yet. He wasn’t even entirely sure who that self would turn out to be once he broke free of all his habitual constraints. For the meantime, it was better to play it safe with strangers, even if it felt unnatural.

“He’s being modest,” Poe gave him a playful shove. “I’ve never seen anyone take to it like that. Those controls are not intuitive.”

“So, my squadron is cross-training in snowspeeders right now, in case of a surface attack,” Karé began, her eyebrows raised speculatively. “We’re desperately short on gunners at the moment.”

“Hey, you’re not trying to enlist him already! He’s still wounded!” Poe protested.

“I’m just calling dibs!” Karé raised her hands. She turned back to Finn and smiled at him encouragingly. “Whenever you’re ready, Finn, we could use a fighter like you.”

Finn smiled and murmured a thanks, but turned his attention to his soup, uncomfortable with the direction the conversation had taken. He couldn’t put his finger on exactly what was bothering him, but the idea of flying with the resistance, defending the base, fighting the First Order . . . it didn’t sit as well with him as he had expected. It was certainly what he’d trained for, if not precisely the way it had been intended. And yet, something about the idea made his stomach squirm. He turned the thoughts over in his mind, silently contemplating the situation.

When Poe nudged his shoulder gently, he looked back up into an enquiring, worried face. He realized belatedly that Karé and Iolo had left, and Jess was nearly finished with her plate. In fact, Finn’s food was nearly gone, too, and he’d hardly even noticed he was eating it. 

“Oh, sorry, I was just thinking.”

“You looked a little upset.”

“Yeah, maybe. I’m not quite sure yet,” Finn said, frowning. Poe raised his eyebrows, looking like he might pry further. Finn quickly shook his head. “I’ll explain later. If I can.” Poe nodded, and relented. 

“I hear your pretty lady friend is heading home,” Jess spoke up as she finished her food.

Poe blew out a horrified sigh and lowered his face to the table, grabbing chunks of his hair with his hands. Finn glanced down at him in confusion, then back up at Jess.

“Poe has a pretty lady friend?”

“No, YOU have a pretty lady friend. At least that’s what I hear,” Jess responded, rolling her eyes.

“Wait, REY is coming back?!” Finn’s eyes were wide as saucers, and his face felt like it was going to split in two from smiling so wide. “Poe, why didn’t you say something?!”

“Because it’s classified!” Poe looked miserable. “The General took me aside particularly and told me not to say anything to you because only the very top brass were supposed to know anything about Skywalker’s location! How did you even hear, Jess?”

“I’m not giving up my secrets that easily!” Jess responded, gathering her tray up hastily.

“You sure gave that one up easily!” Poe retorted.

Jess merely stuck out her tongue and hurried away, while Poe let his head sink back down to the table. Finn watched him for a moment, unable to find any words through the roil of conflicting emotions in his brain. Finally he reached out and shoved Poe’s shoulder. Gently, but still with enough force to show he was annoyed.

“You seriously knew Rey was coming back, and you didn’t tell me?”

“I wanted to,” Poe’s face remained buried, but his voice was full of misery. “I . . . also didn’t want to tell you. Because I wanted you to myself for a little longer. But I want you to be happy, so I wanted to tell you more than I didn’t. Mostly. But I really wasn’t allowed to say anything. They’re very worried about Skywalker’s location being kept a secret. Apparently that’s out now, though, and Jess isn’t much of a gossip, so if she’s heard everyone has. I’ve got to go report to the General.” He finally looked up at Finn, eyes wide and pleading. “I’m very sorry,” he whispered.

Finn looked back down at his plate with a frown, still not sure what to feel. He was still a little upset with Poe, but he certainly understood his reasoning. He would have done the same in his shoes. But that knowledge didn’t stop it from hurting. Poe sighed and pushed his chair back, standing up.

“Look, I’ve got to report in now, are you going to be able to find your way back to your room?” Poe waited for Finn’s tiny nod, then rested his hand gently on his shoulder. “I’ll come find you as soon as I can.” He gathered up the emptied trays and bused them, then headed out of the room at a jog.

Finn stared after him, but his slight sense of betrayal couldn’t compete with his excitement over Rey’s imminent arrival. He pulled his crutches over and headed back to his room, buoyed by the prospect of seeing her again.


	2. Chapter 2

It took forever for Poe to get back. Finn had reset the security settings to allow Poe, Rey, BB-8 and, after some consideration, Jessika free entry. Even having that much control over his living situation was pretty exciting. He went through his full physical therapy regimen, and then he lay back on his bed and waited, thinking furiously.

Finally, a knock sounded at his door. His door. That was still a weird concept. It slid open automatically, and Poe stepped through cautiously, still looking utterly miserable. Finn smiled at him from where he lay on the bed and scooted over, patting the bed beside him. Poe came over and sat down on the very edge of the bed near Finn’s feet as the door slid shut behind him.

“Look, I just wanted to apologize again,” Poe began, but Finn cut him off.

“I understand.”

“I still feel awful for not telling you.”

“I know,” Finn murmured. “That’s sort of why I don’t mind. It hurt, but . . .” he shrugged, and his smile softened. “I’ve been thinking, and it’s okay. The whole classified thing. I’m used to that. It hurt this time because, well, Rey, but. In general, I’m okay with it. And this time I think I’m over it. I’m not upset anymore.”

Poe’s face was a fascinating study in conflicted emotions. Finn watched him, feeling rather conflicted himself. He pushed himself carefully up to sitting and scooted over to kneel right next to Poe, facing him, his knees pressed up against Poe’s hip and thigh. He put his hands on either side of Poe’s face and drew him closer, so they were inches apart.

“This is always going to be a problem. There’s always going to be classified information. Sometimes you’ll know it. Maybe eventually sometimes it will be me. But this is a war we’re fighting, and we both know that. We can make it work. This friendship, this . . .” He left it hanging, not really wanting to define it, but nearly convinced that it had to be something a little different from friendship. Something he’d never expected to be able to have. He desperately wanted to kiss Poe, to touch him, to explore his body. He was terrified that he was misreading the signals, though. They’d been dancing around this for a long time, too long. Long enough that he couldn’t understand why Poe hadn’t made a move yet.

“This . . . ?” Poe murmured, a hopeful lilt to his voice. 

Finn chewed on his lip, finally coming to a decision. He leaned forward, closing that last little gap, and touched Poe’s lips with his own. He brought his head back almost immediately, terrified and a little shocked by his own daring. The mirrored shock on Poe’s face, as well as his subsequent blinding grin, was answer enough. Finn felt his heart soar and leaned back in quickly for a longer kiss. 

This time he took his time exploring. He pressed harder, then softer, licked Poe’s upper lip with his tongue, nibbled on the bottom, trying to figure out the right protocol. He’d heard the other troopers talk about their own kissing experiments, but he’d never participated, and knowing the theory was not much use in practice. Poe just grinned into the kiss and reached up to rest a hand on the back of Finn’s neck. He didn’t apply any pressure, or try to pull him away, he seemed to just want the extra contact. In fact he seemed quite content to follow Finn’s lead. Finally Finn sat back, glaring at him in consternation.

“You do want this, right? You’re just going to sit there and let me make a fool of myself?” Finn asked. “Can’t you show me how to do this right?” 

“You are doing it right. You couldn’t do this wrong,” Poe smiled softly and brought his other hand up to Finn’s face, sliding his thumb along Finn’s temple. “I've wanted to kiss you ever since you first took off that helmet.” He leaned forward to capture Finn's lips again, but Finn laid a finger across his lips, stopping him. 

“Wait, what? Seriously? For that long?” Finn hissed the questions, his eyes wide. 

Poe grinned wider and kissed Finn's finger instead of answering. Then he stuck out his tongue, licked the finger and Finn forgot what he had been asking. Poe opened his mouth and sucked Finn's finger in, letting his eyes fall shut as he did so. Finn stared, dumbstruck, as Poe tongued his finger for several seconds before his brain managed to come up with a plan of action. 

Finn yanked his finger back, and as Poe’s eyes flew open, he grabbed Poe’s shoulders with both hands, pushing him flat onto his back in the bunk, and dragging himself on top of him. He paused for a moment, staring into Poe’s wide, surprised eyes. 

“Uh, this is what we're doing, right? I didn't-”

“Oh, yes, this is absolutely what we're doing,” Poe breathed, pulling him down for another kiss. He dug his fingers into Finn's hair, massaging his scalp as they explored each other's mouths, and it was some time before Finn could bring himself to pull away long enough to look at him. 

Poe’s face was flushed, his lips dark red and shiny and stretched into an irrepressible grin. Finn thought he'd never looked more beautiful. He reached up to tuck a stray curl behind Poe’s ear. Then he moved that hand down and began unbuttoning Poe’s shirt. Poe brought a hand down to stop him. 

“Wait, we don't need to do this yet. If you-”

“Do you want to?“

“Hell yes.” Poe said, swallowing hard.

“Me too.” 

Finn flashed Poe a wicked grin before ducking down to kiss his neck. He felt Poe’s throat move under his lips as he gulped again, then Poe reached down and grabbed his butt with both hands. Finn smiled against his neck, then moved farther down, trailing kisses along the newly revealed skin as he continued opening Poe’s shirt. The chest hair was a bit of a surprise. All the stormtroopers had their body and facial hair removed for efficiency and . . . that was not something he wanted to be thinking about right now, but he'd had plenty of anatomy classes and did that mean he had hair . . .

Finn abandoned the shirt and reached down to fumble with Poe’s trouser buttons. Poe caught his hands and stilled them. 

“Wait, wait, wait, that IS too fast,” he gasped. Finn looked back up at his face sheepishly. He didn't look angry, just surprised, which melted into fondly amused as he gazed at Finn. “We've got all the time in the world here. The exploring was nice.”

Finn pushed himself back up the bed until he had both elbows planted on either side of Poe’s head. He leant forward just a bit to brush their noses together. 

“I was exploring. I want to explore every bit of you.”

“Well I really can't say no to that,” Poe murmured, then hummed happily as Finn began to nuzzle his way south again. 

He managed to get the last few buttons undone without further distractions, and spent a considerable amount of time exploring what he could do with his tongue on Poe’s belly before Poe got impatient. He pulled Finn up to kiss him again, speaking in between kisses. 

“You know, you should really be the one getting undressed here.”

“Mm? Why’s that?”

“I need to make these coveralls disappear. You can borrow my clothes until we can get you something of your own.”

“You just like to see me in your clothes.”

“Yeah. Yeah, I do.” Poe finally took the initiative and pushed them both up to sitting, with Finn still straddling his lap. He laid a gentle hand on Finn’s cheek again, then unfastened the neck of his coveralls and began unzipping them. That was a lot less time consuming than unbuttoning Poe’s shirt, and Finn found himself very quickly topless.

He didn’t feel any particular particular discomfort with nudity. Growing up in barracks with communal showers had eliminated any sort of modesty. But the way Poe’s heavy-lidded gaze raked over his bare chest made him shiver pleasantly. Poe laid his hands on Finn’s waist, thumbs caressing his abs. He bent forward and kissed Finn’s neck, delicately at first, and then more forcefully as Finn tipped his head back, eventually dispensing with caution and bringing his teeth into play. Finn shivered in earnest, then, the sensations going straight to his cock. He moaned and leaned further into Poe, seeking more friction. Poe groaned in response and dragged one of his hands down, slipping it under Finn’s waistband. 

At the first brush of Poe’s fingers against his cock Finn groaned and buried his face in Poe’s shoulder. Poe turned his head to lick along the edge of Finn’s ear, his breath tickling softly against the moistened skin. His hand slid further down to encompass Finn’s cock and Finn gasped. Poe’s hand stilled and he raised his head.

“Y’okay?” he whispered.

“Yeah, good. Just. Wow,” Finn managed to gasp out.

Poe went back to work, and Finn felt himself begin to fall apart under his attentions. Trying to regain a little control over the situation, he reached down to palm roughly at Poe’s cock through his trousers. Poe’s were unfortunately too tight to slip his hand into, and he couldn’t manage the dexterity needed to get them open at this point, so that would have to do. He was burning up inside and couldn’t contain all the sensation much longer. That point of contact with Poe’s cock, even through the thick fabric, grounded him, set them both on equal footing again. Finn mimicked Poe’s actions from earlier, biting gently down on his neck where it met his shoulder. Poe began to groan in time with him, both of them gradually breathing faster, gasping for air, losing control. 

Finn lost it first, shuddering and burying his head in Poe’s neck, choking back a sob. He heard Poe’s head thunk back against the wall, and opened his eyes to see Poe staring at him with an intensity he hadn’t imagined possible. Poe kept one hand tightly pressed tightly to Finn’s waist, while he drew the other one out of Finn’s coveralls, now soaked in cum, and reached down between his own legs to massage his balls. He shivered wildly, though his face and chest were beading with sweat, and then he was coming, too, whining in exhilaration. 

Finn just stared at him, panting, drinking in the sight. A moment later his legs finally collapsed and he flopped down onto Poe. He rolled carefully off him to lay on his back, while Poe rolled onto his side. He propped his chin up on a hand, gazing down at Finn.

“I was . . . really not expecting that tonight,” Poe admitted, as a wry grin stretched across his face.

“Uhhh . . .” Finn moaned, his brain failing to restart. He hadn’t exactly been planning on it either.

“Are you doing okay?”

“Good,” Finn managed to grunt out. “Real good. Just can’t . . .” He waved his hand vaguely, trying to find the word. “Brain? Think. Can’t think. Gimme a minute.”

Poe snickered, then leaned forward and kissed Finn on the forehead. Finn closed his eyes, feeling his mouth widen in an involuntary smile. He turned his head to bury his face in Poe’s shoulder, pulling Poe closer against him.

“C’mere. Need lots of minutes.”

 

Lots of minutes later, Finn was still snuggling into Poe, his arms and legs wrapped around him and his head buried in his chest. Poe had managed to find a datapad somewhere and was theoretically reading something, but every time Finn glanced up at him, Poe was gazing down at him, a soft smile tugging at his lips. Each time, Finn grinned back up at him and snuggled in tighter. 

Poe’s datapad chirped, and when Finn looked up this time, he actually was paying attention to its data. A moment later he looked down with a smile that looked almost regretful.

“They’re here.”

“Who?”

“Rey and Skywalker. The General says the Millennium Falcon just entered the system. She says I can bring you out to meet them.”

Finn sat bolt upright, his heart thumping loudly with excitement.

“Now? We can go now?!” He scooted to the edge of the bed, ready to head to the hangar as quickly as he could hobble. Poe laid a hand on his shoulder, though.

“Clothes first, then we can go. I’ll grab you something from my room.”

Finn nodded violently at him, anxious to get out there as quickly as possible. As Poe stood and hurried out of the room, he tried to get his brain back under control. The anticipation of seeing Rey again was overwhelming, not to mention the nervous tension about meeting the great Jedi he’d been conditioned to fear all his life. The lingering relief and giddiness of first kissing and then making love to Poe in quick succession underlaid it all with a sense of surrealism. When Poe got back, surprisingly quickly, with clean clothes for both of them, Finn pulled him down and kissed him again, thoroughly, delighting in his ability to do so. Finally Poe pulled away with a dazed grin and handed him the new clothes.

“I’ll be here anytime. Right now you’ve gotta go meet your girl.”

Finn nodded and worked his slightly crusty coveralls off, then admired the soft black shirt and brown trousers Poe had handed him. He started to put them on, a little distracted by the sight of Poe doing the same in front of him. That was a sight he could stand to watch very often indeed. But Poe was right, Rey’s arrival was imminent and he couldn’t afford to dally, no matter how attractive the distractions might be. He pulled on the trousers and slid the shirt over his head, then pulled himself to standing and took the crutches Poe held out to him.

“Alright, ready when you are.”

“You look dashing,” Poe grinned, “You need to wear my clothes every day.” He leaned forward to give Finn and peck on the cheek, then rested a steadying hand on his shoulder and led the way out.

 

This hangar was not the one Finn had arrived in. Like that one, the hangar doors opened onto a curtain of falling water, but this one was smaller, and nearly empty. There were a few high level members of the Resistance, and a couple dozen security guards, many of whom watched Finn carefully. He leaned in to whisper to Poe.

“They that worried about the security breach?”

“There’s . . . well, I can’t say anything, but,” Poe rubbed the back of his neck, and the look he gave Finn was frustrated and worried. “There’s more than just that. I’m honestly surprised -- good surprised! But surprised -- that they let you come in.”

“They think I might be a plant,” Finn stated flatly. It was what he would think, if he were them. That didn’t make it sting any less.

“Yeah. Some of them do. I tried to tell them, but they thought I was, well, too attached,” Poe blushed and shrugged helplessly. “I’ve got to check in with the General. I’ll be back in a minute.”

Finn nodded and leaned back against the hangar wall as he watched Poe jog off. With nothing else to occupy his attention, his training brought the details of the guards’ movements to his attention. They were spread out, to keep from presenting a concentrated target, but all situated with a clear shot at the open doors to keep friendly fire at a minimum. There was one shadowing each of the Resistance leaders, although General Organa seemed to be annoyed with hers, and kept shooing him away. Those who weren’t acting as bodyguards or watching Finn were staring intently at the hangar doors. Except for one, a blond human who was busy checking his blaster rifle. Finn wrinkled his brow, watching that one. He stood out for some reason that Finn couldn’t identify. There was something about him that just didn’t fit. 

Finn glanced back over at Poe, but he was occupied in a whispered discussion with General Organa, and neither seemed to be paying him any attention. Poe hadn't given him any instructions to wait there, so he decided to wander over to the blond guard and satisfy his curiosity. Most likely this was just the paranoia of everyone else in the room rubbing off on him, but it couldn’t hurt to check. 

He got his crutches situated again and began moving in that direction. The guards didn’t seem to have any objection to him walking around. A couple seemed to lose interest, while the rest watched him walk with no more or less suspicion than before. His target guard was not paying him any attention, still unusually intent on his blaster. Finn tried to reassure himself that it was probably just malfunctioning, but the hair on the back of his neck was standing up, and adrenaline was filling his veins, unbidden.

He had just come up alongside the guard when the familiar sound of the Falcon’s engines became audible over the rush of water falling over the entrance, and a moment later the ship herself pierced the waterfall and entered the hangar. Finn paused, unable to look away from the welcome sight. His heart pounded, thrilled to know that in just a moment Rey would be here. He couldn’t wait to see her again. The landing gear came down, the Falcon settled gently onto the floor, and the boarding ramp hissed open. Finn took a step towards it, ready to go to Rey the moment she appeared. 

Skywalker was the first out, though. Swathed in humble robes, he still managed to exude such an air of authority and power that Finn stumbled back to a halt. On second thought, he could wait for Rey to come to him. General Organa walked forward to meet him, her arms spread wide in welcome. Poe followed her, seemingly drawn along in her wake. One person seemed unperturbed by Skywalker’s power, though. The blond guard that Finn had been watching finished toying with his blaster rifle and raised it to his shoulder, aiming towards the imminent reunion.

Finn reacted before his brain actually kicked into gear. He screamed a warning and threw all of his weight at the guard, lashing out with one of his crutches at the guard’s head. The guard managed to get off a couple quick shots before Finn barrelled into him, knocking him to the floor. He didn’t try to restrain him, focused only on wrestling the blaster away from him and throwing it out of reach. The guard reached up and grabbed him by the neck, choking him and pulling him back down to the floor, but then the rest of the guards had reacted and they were surrounded. Two restrained the blond guard, while another helped Finn back up to sitting. He didn’t have the strength to stand right now, and the crutch he’d used as a bludgeon was splintered anyway. He peered through the legs of the frantic Resistance guards, trying to see if those two shots had hit anyone, but there was too much commotion.

A moment later Rey appeared at his side, the most beautiful sight he’d ever seen. She threw her arms around him and squeezed him until he thought he’d never breathe again. That was okay. This would be the way he’d want to go, if he had to. Some part of him registered that he was probably a little delirious from shock and adrenaline, but he waved it away.

“C’mere,” Rey grunted, sliding an arm under his shoulders and pulling him upwards.

He resisted, exhausted and fuzzy. Here on the floor with Rey seemed like the perfect place to be right now.

“Come on, Finn! Now! Poe’s hurt!”

His eyes flew open, staring into her wide, hazel eyes, and the fear on her face kicked his brain into gear. He pushed up with what little strength he had in his legs, and she supported the rest of his weight, and together they stumbled towards the little knot at the bottom of the Falcon’s ramp. A 2-1B unit with a grav-stretcher rushed in, medical personnel hot on its tail, and the knot parted a little to give them access. General Organa and Skywalker knelt by Poe, who lay on the ground, blood pouring through a wound in his side. Finn pulled Rey along and they reached him just behind the medical droid. He forced himself to stay far enough back to give the emergency responders room to work. Or Rey pulled him back. He really didn’t know anymore. They lifted Poe up onto the stretcher and dashed away with him, without giving Finn a chance to- he wasn’t even sure. Talk to him? Hold his hand? Kiss him, just in case it was the last time? No, not the last time, definitely not the last time. Finn’s brain whirled out of control and he began to feel faint again.

Then Rey enveloped him in a strong, warm embrace, and Finn buried his face in her shoulder. She anchored him there, reminded him that he wasn’t alone. He threw his arms around her, squeezing tightly, and let out a sob. She patted his back and kissed the side of his neck.

“He’ll be okay,” she whispered. 

Finn didn’t respond, didn’t think he could respond. He was shaking, pushed to emotional and physical exhaustion by the fight and Poe getting hurt and Rey’s return and the power resonating from Skywalker was giving him a headache and he desperately wanted to get out of here. He lifted his face just far enough off Rey’s shoulder to be able to speak.

“Can we follow him?”

Rey nodded and pulled him aside, but then another hand fell on his shoulder, halting them. Rey nudged him and he lifted his head, turning to see General Organa standing there, looking sadly at him.

“Thank you. You proved your loyalties for good, this time. I don’t think anyone will doubt you any longer.” She hesitated, seeming to want to say more. Finally she gave a little shake of her head, and looked away. “I’m sorry it went that way. Go with your friend now. I’ll come by later to check on him.” She left to go stand with her brother again, leaving Finn more bewildered than before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AvaRosier beta-ed this for me! Thank you so much!


	3. Chapter 3

Rey nudged him again, and this time they managed to get moving. One of the guards brought over his remaining crutch, and with the help of that they picked up the pace to an almost decent walk. Once they reached the doors leading back into the base, though, Finn realized he had no idea where the medcenter was in this new base. He looked at Rey for help, but she was also newly arrived, and just shrugged at him. A bothan guard came out of the hangar and, spotting them, walked over. 

“The General said you might need some help finding Medical,” she offered, by way of introduction. 

At Finn and Rey’s simultaneous nods, she turned briskly and headed off to the right. Shrugging, they followed at a slower pace. She waited impatiently for them at each intersection, making sure they didn't get lost, but showed no interest in any further interaction. That was fine by Finn, who was too out of breath trying to keep everything coordinated to make any attempt at conversation. 

Finally they stopped outside a large door that didn't open automatically for them. Their guide stepped up to a comlink built into the wall, and held a soft-spoken conversation with the person on the other side. Finn hung back with Rey, unsure if this was another of those classified things. A moment later she turned back to them and shrugged. 

“He's already in the bacta tank. We can't visit until they decant him. She said it might be an hour or so.”

Finn frowned, upset. He needed more information, needed to know if Poe was going to be okay. Needed to see him and touch him and make sure he was still real. He clung tighter to Rey instead, desperate not to let her go. But now that there was nothing to do but wait, his legs and back decided to voice their complaints and he stumbled under the onslaught of newly realized pain. 

“He needs to sit down,” Rey told the guard, immediately grasping the problem. “Is there somewhere we can wait?”

“There's a waiting room over here.”

She led them a few steps further down the hall to a tiny room with several straight-backed chairs and a caf machine. It was uninviting, but Finn didn't think there was anything in the galaxy that could make him happy to be here, waiting for news. He slid down to lay sideways across three chairs, unable even to sit any longer. His back burned with pain all down his lower spine, and his legs ached from unaccustomed use. 

Rey moved over to the caf machine to get them some drinks, while the bothan guard paced restlessly up and down the other side of the room, her brow furrowed and her movements stiff. Finn wanted to ask her to stop moving for a moment, to just be calm, but she was making him a little too nervous to ask. Finally she turned and walked over to stand rigidly in front of him.

“How did you know Riki was going to do that?” She demanded.

“Riki?” Finn asked, confused.

“The guard you took down back there.”

“Oh, I don’t know, really. I wasn’t sure at the time, there was just something about him,” he hesitated, trying to remember. “He stood wrong. His posture, I used to see it all the time. Comes from standing in parade rest in stormtrooper armor. No one here stands like that, but he did.”

She scowled at him, then turned back around and resumed her pacing. A moment later, she was back, though.

“That was good work, knocking him over like that, with you injured and all. You got some hand-to-hand training?” 

Despite the apparent compliment, she was still glaring at him.

“We did quite a bit of hand-to-hand training, as well as some intensive melee work,” he answered, as factually and efficiently as he could manage. She wasn’t as intimidating as Phasma, but he was a bit bewildered by her.

“We’re short on trainers. Fighters we’ve got, but they’re all too raw to do anything. You get yourself fixed up, we could use a hand.”

“Umm, yeah, just training, right? I’ll think about it,” Finn agreed, trying not to squirm under her intense stare.

“Good. I can’t stay here anymore. Supposed to be on duty right now. Name’s Terna. You can find me when you’re ready.”

Finn stared after her, a little incredulous, as she stalked out of the room. The caf machine hissed and he propped himself up so he could see Rey as she finished making their drinks. She grinned at him ruefully over her shoulder.

“She would be a fun one to work for,” she teased.

“Quite the ray of sunshine,” he agreed, then grunted as another spike of pain shot through his spine. He carefully lowered himself back down.

Rey knelt next to him and laid a hand on his cheek, watching him anxiously. Finn grinned at her, although the pain made it into a bit of a grimace. He reached out and pushed a strand of hair behind her ear, caressing her temple with his thumb. Rey closed her eyes and leaned into the contact, bringing her other hand up to lay cover Finn’s. They sat like that for some time, just touching each other gently, reassuring each other that they were both still there. There were too many things to say and not enough words to say them. 

Finn wanted desperately to tell her about Poe, to ask if she’d met him, and whether she liked him. He wanted to ask about Jedi training, what the Force felt like, and what had happened after he fell at Starkiller Base. He wanted to know if she felt the same hole in his heart that he did when they were apart. To beg for reassurance that Poe would be alright, to just complain about how much he hurt right now. But the emotions and thoughts tumbled over each other in his brain so he couldn’t get anything out.

Finally Rey leaned forward, kissing him on the forehead, and then again on the tip of his nose. She leaned back again and tilted her head to the side so they could look each other in the eye. She grinned at him, her smile a little sadder than it had been before. It still had the power to lift his spirits.

“I missed you, my friend,” she whispered.

“I missed you so much.”

“I worried about you. I hated having to leave without knowing if you were going to be okay.”

“But you did it! You found Skywalker, and Poe said you were a Jedi now, and--”

Rey laughed, her eyes crinkling up, and her teeth showing and Finn couldn’t look away from how strong and beautiful and joyful she was. He wanted to draw her closer and kiss her, but that thought brought back the memory of kissing Poe earlier that day, and now Poe was injured and Finn was terrified for him. Rey sobered, mirroring his own feelings.

“He’s going to be okay. The doctors here are amazing. They got you back on your feet!”

“Well, mostly.” 

“How bad is it, really?”

“Aww, you know, I can get around. It’s just . . .” he hesitated, unused to sharing his feelings. “I can’t get used to needing help. Constantly relying on people to do things for me. It isn’t that it’s bad, or that I’m ungrateful, I just . . . that isn’t how the world works! Not the world I came from. If you can’t do your job then that’s just the end of you. All these people being so thoughtful and accommodating . . . It’s weird.”

“I know,” Rey said, sitting back with a sigh. “It’s weird for me, too. In good ways, mostly. But weird. I still wake up every morning surprised to know there’s someone out there I trust. Someone I care about.”

Finn did reach out to draw her in, this time. Not for a kiss, but for a tight embrace. She wrapped her arms around him in return and they clung together for a long time. When they finally released each other, Finn felt like a huge weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He was still worried about Poe, but everything else that had seemed like such a big deal a moment ago now seemed insignificant. He had Rey back, and if-- when Poe made it out, everything would be right again.

 

It felt like hours before anyone else came. They’d gone through the entire stock of caf, and Rey had ended up leaving for a bit to forage for snacks. Those snacks were long gone, too, before the protocol droid finally entered. Both of them sat bolt upright, Finn with only a little twinge of pain. At least he’d had time to rest his back while they’d been stewing in worry half the night.

“Is Poe okay?” Finn demanded.

“Commander Dameron is conscious and in stable condition. You are invited to come visit him if you are so inclined.”

“We’re right behind you,” Rey said, grabbing Finn’s remaining crutch, and helping him to his feet. They hobbled after the droid, down the hall and through the doors that had shut them out before. Inside, the medcenter was nearly identical to the one on Jakku, although the walls were carved from stone instead of poured duracrete. There was the same oppressive quiet, broken only by the quiet beeping of monitors, uniform dim lighting, and the pervasive smell of bacta. The droid led them to one of the rooms and stood aside to let them enter. Finn took a deep breath and squeezed Rey’s shoulder tighter, then stepped through the open door.

Poe lay on the bed, clad in familiar white hospital robes. He looked rather paler than usual, but a grin lit his face when he saw them. Finn moved to his side as quickly as he could. He leaned over Poe, placed a hand on either side of his face, and kissed him deeply. Poe lifted a hand to rest lightly on Finn’s elbow, and he kissed back enthusiastically.

When Finn broke away it was only because he was afraid his legs would give out if he tried to stand there any longer, and he didn’t want to fall on Poe and make his injury worse. He sat down in the chair by the bed, and reached over to caress Poe’s cheek.

“You’re okay,” Poe whispered.

“I’m okay?” Finn shook his head, disbelievingly. “You’re the one who got shot, why are you asking if I’m okay?”

“You screamed. I saw you tackle that guy, but he had his rifle trained on the General, and I just dived in front of her, didn’t even think. She was okay, I saw her before I blacked out, but I couldn’t see you!” Poe laid his hand over the one Finn held to his cheek. “I was so terrified I’d lost you.”

“You dived into the line of fire?!”

“The General was in danger! And don't give me that look. You were the one who jumped the guy with a blaster.”

“It was the right thing to do,” Finn sniffed. 

“You were worried about me,” Poe whispered, and his tone carried a note of awe. 

“I was worried about you,” Finn agreed. 

Poe smiled sappily and grabbed his hand, bringing it down for a detour to his lips. Rey cleared her throat, and Poe blushed, but kissed Finn’s fingertips anyway. Poe gave her his attention, then, although he looked a little defiant and continued holding Finn’s hand.

“So you made it back.”

“I promised I would.”

“Last guy I knew went off for Jedi training with Skywalker didn’t come back so nice.”

“Ah,” Rey winced.

“I’m sorry, that was uncalled for,” Poe mumbled, reaching up to rub at his face with his free hand. “You did promise, and I shouldn’t have doubted you.”

“I’m nothing like him,” Rey stated flatly.

“I know. I shouldn’t have said that.”

They nodded at each other, seeming to arrive at some sort of truce, as Finn looked back and forth between them, bewildered.

“So, I guess you guys met while I was out, then?” 

“You were out for a while before Rey had to leave,” Poe pointed out.

“I had to,” Rey emphasized, defensively.

“What’s going on?” Finn demanded. When no one offered up an answer, he leaned back, pulling his hand out of Poe’s grasp to fold his arms across his chest. He stared pointedly at each of them until they looked down. “You are the two people I love most in the whole galaxy. Tell me what is wrong.”

There was a long pause where neither of them would meet his eyes.

“We disagreed on whether I should go find Skywalker,” Rey finally admitted. “I didn’t want to leave you, but I couldn’t stay here. There was this drive to go. I didn’t understand then, but it was the Force, pulling me.”

“I didn’t know that,” Poe said, looking embarrassed.

“I didn’t either, really. Not then. I just knew I had to go, and I couldn’t say why.”

Finn looked between them as they paused for a moment, intensely curious about what they had talked about while he was comatose, but he kept quiet, not wanting to derail them. Rey stared at Poe, her gaze partly defiant, partly looking for approval. Poe bit his lip, watching her thoughtfully. Finally he pursed his lips and sighed.

“I was jealous, too. That was my mission, finding Luke Skywalker. I don’t like letting go of it. Even though you had the better chance of bringing him back. Even though I wanted to stay with Finn. I hated that I couldn’t finish the job.”

“I didn’t think you were in it for the glory.”

“No, not like that. I mean, maybe, I’m not that pure of heart or whatever, but. I had a job to do. And at every step of the way, either you or Finn had to save my ass and do it for me. It’s hard to swallow.”

Rey came forward and sat on the end of the bed. She smiled cautiously at Poe, unsure, but no longer angry. She reached over to pat his knee through the sheets, but hesitated at the last moment and clasped them around her own knees instead. 

“I understand that, I think. Being capable, making things work, it makes it a lot easier to live with yourself.” She paused, and when she spoke again her voice was quiet and tentative. “Finn and I were talking, about how weird it is that we have people we can rely on here. It isn't like that where either of us come from. It's good, though, I think. To not be alone. To have each other's back.”

Poe smiled wryly at her, but it was a bittersweet look.

Finn leaned forward, deciding that the situation was sufficiently diffused. He took Poe’s hand again, and kissed it gently. 

Rey stood up again, then, rather abruptly. 

“Well this was all very exciting, but I already had a long flight from Ahch-To today and I am exhausted. I should find a place to crash.”

“You can sleep in my bunk,” Finn offered. “I'm going to stay with Poe.”

“Uh, maybe you should take my bunk instead,” Poe interjected. “Finn needs to clean his up a little.”

Finn suddenly felt very warm, remembering the activities they'd been engaging in before Rey’s arrival. She nodded, a little stiffly, and turned to go. Finn grabbed for her hand, stopping her. He pulled her back around and down so their faces were level, putting a hand on either side of her face. 

“Sleep well,” he whispered, then leaned forward, bringing their lips together for a kiss. 

Rey jumped back, staring at him in horror. 

“What are you doing?” she squeaked. 

“Um, kissing you goodnight?” he responded, baffled. 

“But you're with him!” Rey pointed at Poe, but she was still staring at Finn. 

Finn looked over to Poe for answers. Poe was watching him with raised eyebrows, but at least he looked more amused than horrified. Finn looked back to Rey, trying to puzzle out the problem. 

“You don't want to kiss me?” Finn hazarded a guess. 

“No, I . . . I would like to kiss you, but you can't . . .” Rey sputtered. 

“I think the problem is more one of kissing both of us,” Poe offered. 

That was not something Finn had considered. He had been aware on some level that many of the cultures in the galaxy practiced monogamy, but he'd never really thought it would apply to him. Even though he'd not had any successful relationships with the other stormtroopers, it had always been understood that they were at war, and they were probably going to die, and the general practice was to take as much pleasure and comfort as possible from as many people as possible. Discretely, of course. That sort of thing wasn't in the regs. But there had never really been a concept of only loving one 

“You don’t want me to kiss you, if I’m going to be kissing Poe as well,” Finn stated, trying to get the measure of the problem.

“I . . . I’m okay with you and Poe being together,” Rey said. “At least, I will be okay with it. I just need to get used to it. But I can’t . . . we can’t . . .” She trailed off, her face twisted with anguish. “That isn’t the way it works!”

Finn wished he could go to her, hold her, but he couldn’t manage the mobility for it, and he was pretty sure she wouldn’t welcome it at the moment. She looked so hurt and angry, and he felt like a huge gulf was stretching between them. It was just a misunderstanding, surely, but he didn’t see any way to get past it. He looked desperately to Poe for help, who lay there chewing thoughtfully on his lower lip.

“I don’t mind,” Poe shrugged. “I was never one for playing by the rules, though.” He looked thoughtfully at Rey. “It isn’t an easy question. There’s no shame in not wanting to share him. He’s a hell of a guy.”

“Share him?” Rey questioned, her voice barely audible in the hushed room.

“I’m okay with it if you are. And I’m pretty sure Finn’s on board,” Poe winked at Finn, before turning his face, once again sincere and open, back to Rey. “But if you aren’t, that really is okay. No one is going to pressure you about this.”

Rey stared hard at him, her expression troubled. Finn held his breath, waiting. He wanted to beg her to understand, to plead for her acceptance. But Poe’s words were still ringing in the room. No one is going to pressure you. He might not understand her dilemma, but he couldn’t convince her to make that choice. She had to be willing or not on her own terms.

“I need to sleep,” Rey finally stated. She turned on her heel and left the room.

Finn stared after her, terrified, sure he must have lost her. He reached for his crutches, deciding that he couldn’t let her go that easily, but Poe grabbed his hand, keeping him there. Finn looked at him desperately, blinking tears out of his eyes.

“She needs time to think,” Poe said quietly. “Give her some room. You’re asking for something she’d never considered. And she's apparently asking you for something you'd never considered. You both need to think this through.”

“I don’t understand why this is a problem,” Finn whispered.

Poe let go of his arm and rubbed at his eyes. He looked frustrated, and Finn felt momentarily guilty for not just getting it. So many things worked differently out here, and he kept being surprised at little things he didn’t expect. Or unexpectedly big things, like this. It was exhausting, constantly realizing that he didn’t know any of the rules.

“It’s complicated,” Poe sighed. “I think . . . sometimes it’s hard to believe that there’s enough love to go around.”

Finn simply blinked at him for long moments, even more confused now. He turned Poe’s words over and over in his mind, trying to understand them.

“If I go tell her I love her . . .”

“She already knows that,” Poe said, then laughed at Finn’s surprise. “It’s written all over your face, every time you look at her. But if she hasn’t had a lot of love in her life, it might be hard for her to really believe it.”

Finn nodded. That feeling was one he was familiar with. It had taken him a long time to work up the certainty to kiss Poe, and Rey had seen a lot less of him recently. Maybe if he could just show her that he had the capacity to love them both . . . maybe.

“Do you think she’ll come around?” Finn asked, hesitantly.

“I don’t know. That can be a pretty difficult change to make. Give her time. You obviously love each other, so I think you guys will work something out.”

Finn stood, slowly. His legs were shaky, exhausted from all the moving he’d done today. They were going to ache terribly tomorrow. But this time he wasn’t moving far. He sat down on the edge of Poe’s bed, level with his hips, and turned so he could face Poe. He leaned down, hovering over him, careful to avoid the wound in his side.

“I love you, too, you know,” he whispered.

Poe flushed deeply and beamed up at him. He pulled Finn down for a long kiss, stroking the sides of his neck. Finn felt himself relax. At least this relationship he could understand.

“I love you, too,” Poe whispered, finally releasing him. 

Finn grinned shyly back down at him as his heart leapt. He had been pretty sure, but hearing those words was a completely different experience. He leaned back in for another quick kiss, before pulling back to gaze down at Poe. 

“You should rest. Get better quickly, and all.”

“Yeah, so should you.”

“I’m gonna stay with you. This is not a great place to be alone.”

“You can rest here. There’s a couch over there.”

Finn looked over to the corner Poe indicated, and there was indeed a couch there, obviously intended to double as a bed for just this sort of occasion. He had been so intent on making sure Poe was okay that he’d completely ignored the rest of his surroundings. That spoke a lot about his worry, given how his training had pounded battlefield awareness into his head. It was a little bit of a relief, realizing that his concern for his friends could trump even that conditioning. Little by little, he was breaking free.

He smiled down at Poe again, and gave him a quick peck on the forehead, before gathering his remaining crutch and hefting himself up again. The couch was a little harder than most of the mattresses here, but actually pretty comparable to stormtrooper bunks, and he settled down easily, especially after Poe chucked a pillow at his head. He started to protest, but Poe had three pillows even after that, so Finn decided he would be alright.

“Good night.”

“Good night.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to AvaRosier for beta reading this!

**Author's Note:**

> I don't have a beta reader. If anybody's interested in doing an exchange, send me a message!


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